Christmas Wish Read online

  A Christmas Wish

  By Ivy Smoak

  Copyright 2015 Ivy Smoak

  All Rights Reserved

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  CONTENTS

  Title

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Read More

  ARC Team

  Also by Ivy Smoak

  Copyright

  Chapter 1

  "I can't believe we're out of flour," my mom said as she moved a few things around in the cupboard. It was the second time she had scoured the cabinet in search of an ingredient that was clearly not there.

  "I really don't mind going to get it," I said again. I had already grabbed my jacket after the first time she mentioned there was no more flour. "Is there anything else we need?"

  "I don't want you to have to go out on Christmas Eve. I'll just make something else."

  "Mom, I really don't mind." I grabbed my purse and my car keys. I needed some fresh air. I wasn't sure if I could stand another minute in the house without screaming. Making Christmas cookies right now sounded like a nightmare.

  "Did you want your father to go with you? Or maybe Izzy..."

  "Nope. I'll be back soon." I quickly walked out the front door before my mom could finish her thought. Most of all, I was trying to get away from my little sister, Izzy. When I closed the front door, I sighed and leaned my back against it. Izzy hadn't come home for Christmas ever since she graduated from college a few years ago. But this year she was back. With a surprise fiancé, no less.

  I was happy for her, I really was. But it was hard. I had been engaged last year to who I thought was my soul mate. I had fallen head over heels for Brendan. We even finished each other's sentences. What I hadn't realized was that when he wasn't finishing my sentences, he was fucking his secretary. I told my family that I had dumped him, but I never told them why, because it was embarrassing and mortifying. I still couldn't seem to process the fact that I wasn't enough for him.

  Seeing Izzy so happy was great. But my mom wouldn't let me hear the end of it. She kept telling me I had let one of the good ones go. That Brendan was the best I would ever do. And just hearing that made me want to cry. Of course my mom didn't know he was a dick, but it made it seem like she thought I deserved to be cheated on. I had always been irrational when I was upset. And I was so sick of feeling sorry for myself. I would have been more prepared for everything if Izzy had bothered to give me a heads up. As it was, I wasn't ready.

  I had dated Brendan for five years. I was used to bringing him home for Christmas. My friends kept setting me up with random guys to try to get me to move on, but it wasn't working. I was starting to think I'd never feel that spark again. I couldn't even remember if I had felt it with him. Everything seemed to be going to so well and now I just felt completely lost. I had never felt more alone than I did this Christmas.

  I pulled my keys out of my purse and walked down to my car. A light snow had just started to fall. Nothing seemed more magical than snow on Christmas Eve. I wasn't feeling it tonight, though. I had somehow turned into a Grinch overnight. I climbed into my car and put the key in the ignition before I had even closed the door. It was freezing and I wanted the heat to kick on as soon as possible.

  I closed the door, buckled my seatbelt, and pressed my foot on the gas. There was a grocery store only a few minutes away that was open 24 hours, even on Christmas Eve. I turned out of my neighborhood. There weren't any other cars on the road. Everyone must have been tucked in their houses happily celebrating. Not me. I looked out the side window as I drove past my high school. Seeing it made my chest feel tight. When I went off to college, I so badly wanted to make something of myself. I had been such a nerd in high school. My ten year reunion was next year and I didn't want to show up alone. I wanted to show everyone that I wasn't a loser anymore.

  My heat seemed to finally kick on as I parked the car in the parking lot of the grocery store. There were only a few other cars, most likely employees. I pulled my coat tightly around myself as I walked up to the store. The first door was locked, but the second one I tried was open.

  "Merry Christmas," a lone woman at the cashier stand said in a not so merry tone.

  "Merry Christmas," I said and grabbed a basket. From one Grinch to another. The first thing I did was find flour, and then I wandered into the wine isle. If I was going to survive the next few days, I was going to need a lot of wine. I grabbed one bottle and made my way down the aisle. Or maybe something stronger would be better.

  "Julia Wild."

  I turned around to see who had said my name and I had to focus on not letting my jaw drop. My high school crush. The one that I always day dreamed about in class. The one that I thought didn't know I existed. I cleared my throat. "Tucker Mills?" I felt like I was transported back to high school. Was he seriously talking to me? I looked around but there was no one else in the store. Especially not with my name. I was so glad that I hadn't changed out of the nice skirt I had worn to church. Otherwise I'd be wearing ridiculous Christmas pajamas right now, and that would have been an absolute disaster.

  He smiled and walked over to me. "You know, I always thought you had the coolest name in our class."

  Really? I laughed. "Well, you were the coolest person in our class." Why did I just say that? I'm so lame.

  He smiled again and looked down at my basket. "Flour and wine? What are you making?"

  "My mom is making Christmas cookies. And I'm just trying to survive the holidays. But I'm probably going to need more wine than this."

  "That bad, huh?"

  "I'd say I'd need at least two bottles a day to survive." He looked even more handsome now than he had in high school. He was wearing nice jeans and an expensive looking wool coat. He had clearly made something of himself. His brown hair was now smoothed to one side, making him look sophisticated and more grownup than I remembered. But he still had the same heartwarming smile and piercing brown eyes. Those two things hadn't changed at all. Except that they were currently directed at me.

  "So your plan is to get shitfaced for the holidays? That sounds fun. But it doesn't sound like you at all." He smiled again.

  I wasn't really sure why he remembered my name, let alone remembered that I had never gone to a high school party. I was too busy studying. Or maybe I was too busy not being invited. Tucker and I had a few classes together, but we had never even talked. "Well, Tucker Mills, I don't think you ever knew me that well."

  He shoved his hand that wasn't holding his basket into his pocket as he stared down at me. "Not as well as I wished I had, no."

  I swallowed hard. What did he mean by that? I laughed awkwardly. "Yeah. Well..." I let my voice trail off as I looked at one of the bottles on the shelf.

  "You know, if you're looking for something good, you should try this." He grabbed a bottle off the shelf and handed it to me.

  "Are you a wine connoisseur now?"

  He laughed. "No, I wouldn't say that exactly. But I think it's pretty good."

  "Okay, well, thanks." I looked down at the bottle. Mills Winery. My eyes darted back up to his. "You own a winery?"

  He smiled. "You don't seem to know me that well either, Julia Wild."

  "Touché." I put the bottle into my basket. "So why are you out on Christmas Eve?"

  His phone started buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked down at the screen. "Sorry, this'll just take a second." He slid his thumb across the screen.

  "No, it's okay. It was nice seeing you, Tucker. Merry Christmas."

  "Mills," he said into his phone and put his finger up, signaling that it was just going to be a minute.

  "It's fine," I mouthed. I waved and turned
away from him. It felt like my heart was beating out of my chest. I hadn't seen him in, what, nine years? I never would have thought he'd remember me, let alone go out of his way to talk to me. I grabbed a box of Cheez-Its before walking up to the checkout. Maybe eating a whole box of those tonight would somehow make me feel better. I placed everything from my cart on the conveyer belt. The woman gave me a lame smile as she scanned the items. I didn't blame her for not being cheery. Working on Christmas Eve probably wasn't what she asked for from Santa.

  I looked over my shoulder before I pulled out my credit card. I was kind of hoping that Tucker would have tried to come after me. How many times had I dreamed of that? Him running up to me and confessing that he always loved me? I laughed silently to myself. I wasn't in high school anymore. That idea would always just remain a dream. Tucker was just being friendly on Christmas Eve. That's what people did. He was just a nice guy. And he had made my Christmas Eve better. He had distracted me for five minutes from my mom's nagging.

  I picked up my bags. "Merry Christmas," I said as cheerfully as I could muster to the checkout woman.

  She smiled. "You too, hon."

  Hopefully my sincerity had made her night a little better. I didn't want to be a Grinch. That wasn't me. I always loved Christmas. I glanced behind me once more, but Tucker was nowhere in sight. The quarterback of the football team never liked the nerd. The successful winery owner probably didn't fall for the girl who couldn't even keep her fiancé entertained either. I shook my head. It didn't mean I couldn't enjoy the thought of it happening. I had sure thought about that happening enough in high school.

  When I walked outside, I was surprised to see the parking lot covered in snow. I needed to get home before it got any worse. I put the groceries into the front seat and grabbed the snow scraper. Now that I was alone again, I wished I was wearing those Christmas pajamas. The snow landing on my legs made me shiver. At least I was wearing thigh-high boots. When I finished scraping the snow from the windows, the first few windows I had done were already almost covered again. It was really coming down. I quickly got into my car, brushed the snow off my legs, and started the engine.

  The engine made a few weird noises, but eventually turned on. My car hated the cold. Most old cars did. I put the car into drive and put my foot onto the gas. But nothing happened. "Shit." I pressed my foot down on the gas again. I could hear my tires spinning. There must have been ice underneath of them. "Great." I'm sure I had learned something about this in driver's ed, but that was years ago. I had no idea what to do. I pumped my foot on the gas pedal, but that didn't do anything either. Is pumping the gas even a thing? Maybe it's pumping the breaks. But that's to keep the breaks from locking up in the rain...

  Someone knocking on my window made me jump. A hand swiped through the snow. Tucker Mills was standing outside my car staring at me. My heart starting beating fast again. I fumbled with the buttons on the car door until I found the one to lower my window. The sheet of snow that had built up on my window while I was screwing around trying to get the car to move fell right onto my lap.

  "Car trouble?" he said.

  "Yeah." I brushed the snow off my legs and onto the car floor. "There must be ice under my tires or something." He looked so sexy with small flakes of snow falling on him. I had the sudden urge to run my fingers through his hair. What is wrong with me?

  "Let me try to give you a push."

  Before I could say anything, he was walking to the back of my car. "Press on the gas!" he yelled from behind my car.

  I put my foot down on the gas slowly, and then pressed the pedal down farther. Nothing but the churning noise of my tires spinning.

  He came back to my window. "I guess I'm not as strong as I thought."

  "I'm sure that doesn't have anything to do with it. I know you're strong." I could feel my face blushing.

  He smiled. "Let me give you a lift home."

  "Oh, no, Tucker, that's fine. I've already kept you away from your family long enough. I'll just call a tow truck. Thanks for offering, though."

  "It's not a big deal. You probably live like five minutes away from here like me."

  "Yeah. But really, you have better things to do. I'm fine. You don't have to take me home."

  He gave me strange look. "I know I don't. I want to, Julia."

  He wants to? "But, Tucker, if you have..."

  "Really, I don't mind. In answer to your question, I'm also avoiding my family."

  I laughed. "The joys of Christmas."

  "Mhm." He tapped on the side of my car. "Come on, before my truck gets snowed in too."

  "Okay." I pushed the button to put my window back up and turned off the ignition. I couldn't help but think about the fact that Tucker Mills was driving me home. The Tucker Mills. I had definitely dreamed of him doing that. And kissing me goodnight. I grabbed my bags and opened up the car door. I sighed and locked my car.

  It was snowing even harder now. There was only one truck in the parking lot, and I followed Tucker to it. He opened up the passenger side door and held his hand out for me. This was pretty much every dream come true. I put my hand in his and stepped up toward the door. His hands were warm and his palms were rough. I had to force myself to let go. His touch had made my whole body feel warm despite the snow falling around us.

  He closed the door behind me and I watched him sprint around the car. He climbed into the driver's seat and rubbed his palms together. There was no center console in his truck. There was a small, third seat between us instead. I wished that I was a little bolder. If I was, I'd say I was cold and scoot over closer to him. Instead, I looked out the window.

  As soon as he put his key in the ignition, his truck roared to life. His truck didn't protest at all when he put his foot on the gas.

  "Wow, your car is a lot better than mine."

  "Four wheel drive. I'm surprised you don't have it. If you still live around here, that is."

  "I probably should get a new car. I live about half an hour from here, in Kennett Square. If anything, it snows more there."

  "That's actually pretty close to my winery. You should come see it sometime."

  "Yeah, that would be great." I tried to search his face. I couldn't tell if he was actually inviting me or if he was just being nice again. I couldn't tell. He turned toward me, but I quickly looked away.

  "Left or right?" he said, when he came to the light.

  "Left." I wished I did live far away. I considered sending him the wrong direction to extend the car ride, but with only a few turns between the grocery store and my house, I was pretty sure he'd realize what I was up to. "So why are you avoiding your family?"

  He laughed. "My mom loves nagging me about having grandchildren."

  "Oh." Of course he was married. Guys like him were never single. "How long have you been married?"

  He laughed again. "That's the thing. I'm not. I'm not even dating anyone. My mom is just being crazy."

  "That's kind of what mom's do."

  "Yeah. I guess. And what about you, Julia?"

  I liked the way my name rolled off his tongue. "Why am I avoiding my family?"

  "Well, that. And are you seeing anyone?" He turned toward me when he came to a stop light.

  Is he hitting on me? I pinched my wrist. I was definitely not dreaming. "My little sister is engaged. And my mom keeps reminding me that I am not."

  "She's wondering why your boyfriend won't pop the question?"

  I laughed. "No, not exactly."

  His lips parted for a second, like he was about to say something, but he quickly pressed them back together. The light turned green and he put his foot back on the gas.

  I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say. Maybe I should elaborate? I definitely wanted him to know that I was single. Not that it really mattered. He was Tucker Mills. He wasn't interested in me. "Right after last Christmas, I found out that my fiancé was cheating on me. So I called it off. And I never really told my family what happened. I was just too embarrassed to
tell them, you know? Now my little sister is engaged and my mom keeps reminding me that I let one of the good one's get away. She's being relentless. I'm surprised she's not calling my ex and inviting him to Christmas dinner." I knew I was rambling but I couldn't seem to stop. It felt nice to be able to vent about everything for a change. "But I'm not a horrible person. I'm so happy for my sister. I just wish my mom could focus on that instead of on me being single for one second."

  "I'm sorry about your ex."

  "Geez, it was for the best. Clearly we weren't meant to be."

  "That doesn't mean he had to be an asshole about it. I don't understand why anyone does that. He should have just had the balls to tell you. He was the one who let a good thing go, not the other way around."

  I laughed. "Thanks. The girl he cheated on me with had like, really, really big boobs, though. So there's that." And she was a slut.

  He laughed. "I'm sure she wasn't as pretty as you."

  Oh my God, he's flirting with me!

  "Which way?" he said, stopping at a stop sign.

  "Right." I watched him make the turn. I didn't want tonight to be something I looked back on and regretted like high school. I always wished I had the courage to talk to him back then. "I was really surprised when you talked to me tonight."

  "Why?"

  "We weren't exactly friends in high school. I actually didn't even think you knew who I was."

  He turned away from the road for a second and smiled at me. "Of course I knew who you were."

  "Yeah, I guess our graduating class was pretty small. Turn right here too."

  He made a right into my neighborhood. "That's not why I knew who you were."

  "That's my parents' house." I pointed out the window to show him it was one house away.

  He pulled to a stop on the curb outside my house and cut the engine.

  That had to be the shortest ride of my life.

  "I'm actually surprised that you knew who I was," he said and smiled at me.

  I laughed. "Are you kidding? Everyone knew who you were. Quarterback of the football team. Mr. Popular. Pretty much the opposite of me."